Things To Tell You
by Tricki
Summary: Because people say things they wouldn't usually say on Valentine's Day, people do things they wouldn't usually do. So today is the day I'll tell you that I love you. Mac and Stel. It's crap! Don't say I didn't warn you!


Hey everyone! This started out a Valentine's day story, then I realised it's been ages since, which is where the bit at the end came from (Am I making ANY sense?)

What else do I say... I don't own CSI:NY or Mac and Stella...

Special thanks and lots of love to Mandi, Steeledust, Space Ape, Kitty, Quille - you guys are all so supportive and I love you for it!

I hope you like it and I makes you feel all warm and fuzzy! I'd really love some reviews too, and If you think I should keep going then tell me cos I don't write enough anymore!

And the song is 'Someone' by DHT. It made me think of them the 1st time I heard it!

Once again I don't claim to be a genius or any good at this so any mistakes/plotholes etc are on me!

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Stella walked into her apartment to find a card and a rose on her coffee table. She pulled off her favourite shoes and placed them by the door fondly (if a little sadly), dropped her bag and jacket onto the couch and picked up the card cautiously. So far it had been the worst Valentine's day ever (And that was _REALLY _saying something) and she was seriously concerned that this seemingly lovely gesture was hate - mail in disguise.

For starters Flack was sick, so she got stuck with some 'Too-Horny-For-His-Own-Good'

cop who kept staring at her ass and had no idea whatsoever how to handle a crime scene. She had never had a problem with working solo or working with people who were still learning but she had a serious problem with people getting in her way and this guy was doing nothing short of deliberately obstructing her.

Then the Mass Spec had started giving her pages of 'Contact manufacturer, unknown system error' and when she tried to find Mac, to ask him what was wrong with it, he was nowhere to be found (Neither was Jane Parsons which made her jump to conclusions which made her ridiculously jealous).

After she read through the manual and pressed every button that her logic told her to press she had decided that the damned thing had probably been right in the first place. So she called the company who made it. Who told her to call the company who made the software . Who had told her to call the repairman.

After she had been on the phone to the Mass Spec repairman for an hour, he had informed her that it had "_Obviously _been unplugged and not reprogrammed properly."

Stella had tiredly said her thanks while thinking '_You couldn't have told me that forty-freaking-five minutes ago?'_

In addition to this the victim's father had threatened her with everything under the sun, including dismembering, if she didn't convict the man that he thought ("Knew") was guilty, even though he had a rock solid alibi ("Where were you on Sunday?" "Helping teach Sunday school at my local church, ask Father Hoskins.") and all the evidence pointed to a female killer.

And to top it off the heel of her favourite shoe had broken.

So, bearing all that in mind, she opened the simple red card, which had a pink heart and elegant golden letters proclaiming 'For you', and read over the familiar handwriting (which was the last handwriting she expected to see on a Valentine's day card for her).

_Well, if I was ever going to say anything like this then it would be today, right? (Or is that too corny?)_

_I know it's a stupid commercial, Hallmark holiday (Designed by Hallmark, for Hallmark) but I guess if I didn't have _some _excuse then I'd never tell you. And I really do want to tell you._

_Tell me what? You may ask, so I suppose I should maybe do something crazy like… tell you? Sorry, I'll get to the point._

_I want to tell you that I love you, Stella Bonasera. More than the world. More than the sun and the moon and the world and the Chrysler Building and every Beatles song put together. More than anything and more than everything._

_But I know that my saying that has consequences, which is why I didn't tell you in person._

_This way you can pretend you never read this and I can pretend I never wrote this and I'll understand._

_The only reason I did this this way was so that it could still not affect us if you don't want it to. _

_You're the only person who has ever really known me. You're my friend and my partner and I hope one day you'll be more to me._

_I'm really going to shock you now, prove to you that I do have a life by (Drum roll, please.) quoting a recent song!_

_I've never been eloquent enough when I need to be, so I let someone else do the work for me. This song, 'Someone' by DHT says everything I ever wanted to say to you (I burned it onto the CD in the envelope). _

_I thought here I should say something really profound about us as people so here it goes,_

_We are both, if anything, passionate people. I'm passionately in love with you and you're passionately in love with life. You have such a vigour and verve for it._

_I wish I could be more like you…….. I wish I had you. I wish I could brand every inch of you with my love…_

_Then I think I'd be in love with life._

_So I want you to know, In the words of DHT, I wish I was your someone, everyday and night, I wish I was your someone…_

_Happy Valentine's day, Stella,_

_all my love (I hope you liked reading that as much as I liked writing it)_

_Mac xoxox_

Stella pulled the CD out of the envelope with a shaking hand and slid it into her CD player.

_This has got to be a joke. _She thought certainly. _It's going to be Danny or Aiden or …or… SOMEONE saying 'Ha, Ha! Got ya, Stel!'_

_This isn't happening……_

"But wouldn't it be great if it were?" She said out loud and smiled in spite of herself.

A smooth female voice slid out of her speakers.

"You can't eat, you can't sleep, you can weep

When you love someone

Feels extreme when you dream and you scream

When you love someone

If you feel that strong

Can you see that one

Let me be your

Someone to hold you tight

Someone to make you feel alright

Everyday and night

I wish I was your someone

Someone to hold you when you're weak

Someone to make you feel complete

Everyday and night

I wish I was your someone

Don't you know I will go

If you show that I can break through

It feels extreme when you dream and you scream

When you love someone

If you feel that strong

Can you see you're the one

Let me be your

Someone to hold you tight

Someone to make you feel alright

Everyday and night

I wish I was your someone

Someone to hold you when you're weak

Someone to make you feel complete

Everyday and night

I wish I was your someone

And I hold you tight

Still on my mind

I can't stand to live without you

And I can't forget you

where ever you are

Still on my mind

Someone to hold you tight

Someone to make you feel alright

Everyday and night

I wish I was your someone

Someone to hold you when you're weak

Someone to make you feel complete

Everyday and night

I wish I was your someone

Someone to hold you tight

Someone to make you feel alright

Everyday and night

I wish I was your someone"

She blinked three times, took a deep, calming breath and played the song again (Just to be sure she wasn't going mad). When the song finished for the second time, the LCD screen flashed "TRACK 2" and she realised that she had rewound to the beginning before the CD had finished.

_So this is where the laughing is going to start… _She thought certainly. But it didn't.

"I love you, Stella." A familiar voice said in a tone that told her, without a doubt, he was smiling.

One line, in particular stuck in her head: "Don't you know I will go If you show that I can break through"

She had always thought that she was the one trying to break through the walls that he had built up, not the other way around.

"I missed you taking down your walls……" She said thoughtfully. She realised that she had been so intent on not letting herself love him that she had built up walls of her own.

She stared at the card and tried to decide what she should do.

_How in hell do I handle this? _She asked herself and didn't wait for the answer. The logical part of her, which was now miles behind, had lost control to the emotional part, which was telling her to act, don't think, just act.

She pulled on a different, unbroken pair of shoes, grabbed her jacket, keys and bag then bolted out the front door to her car.

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She pressed the doorbell repeatedly, incessantly, frantically. He pulled the door open with a drawn look on his face and said (In a tone of forced pleasantry which was as much he could manage),

"Mrs Lepsberg if this is about your mail again-" but was cut off by Stella Bonasera throwing herself into his arms and squeezing his neck so tightly he was worried she would strangle him. He wrapped his arms around her longingly and, if he was honest, a little uncertainly.

"I thought you were my downstairs neighbour." He said sheepishly in explanation.

"Happy Valentine's day." She said, completely ignoring his lack of a greeting.

"Happy Valentine's day."

"Where were you today?" She asked as she released him and walked into his apartment.

"Trying to write something." He said with a half smile on his face.

"I loved it." She said quietly without facing him.

"Stella are you sure you want to…..?"

"Mac…." She tried to think of something logical to say and then gave up. Everything she had wanted to say for so long spilled out of her mouth involuntarily.

"I want to dance with you in the rain! I want to wake up beside you for the rest of my life! I want to kiss you goodnight! I want to make love to you! I want you! I want us and screw the repercussions, Mac I don't care!" She said elatedly and then almost whispered,

"I suppose what I'm saying is, I'm passionately in love with you too." She unconsciously held her breath, as if realising what she had said.

_You can't do this to me and then run away, I won't survive if you do…… _She thought anxiously.

"Trust you to be more eloquent than me." He laughed and walked over to her purposefully, caught her face in his hand and kissed her softly. Her skin tingled where he touched her. This was exactly what she had been waiting for.

"I love you." He whispered to her.

"I love you too." She grinned and proceeded prise his mouth open with her tongue.

"Do me one favour, Taylor." She said when they broke apart. He nodded curiously with one eyebrow raised.

"Don't you _dare _tell me to take it slow." He laughed and showed his agreement by kissing her in such a way that she felt shivers all over her body.

"I wouldn't dream of it." He smiled and she began to unbutton his shirt. The worst Valentine's day ever had rapidly become the absolute best Valentine's day imaginable.

_This is going to be a hard one to top… _She grinned wickedly to herself.

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"Goodnight, Stella." He whispered to her as she curled up against his side. Exactly where she had always belonged.

"Goodnight." She muttered and smiled to herself softly.

"I'm passionately in love with you." He whispered and kissed her head.

"I'm passionately in love with you too…" She managed to say before she fell into a deep sleep.

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She kissed he bare chest softly, and watched it rise and fall rhythmically. The easy motion of it comforted her.

She had never been so consumed in her life, with passion, with desire, with love.

She lay next to him kissing his chest until he woke up, branding him as hers as she had always wanted to.

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Mac looked down to see what was brushing over his chest and caught sight of a familiar head of curls, rested on his shoulder. He ran a finger over her shoulder then down her back and felt her shiver.

"What's the time?" He asked sleepily.

"Too early to ask questions like that." She said and kissed him softly.

She moved to his shoulder and began kissing it tenderly.

"I love you." She said with her lips against his shoulder still.

He grinned and kissed the top of her hair lovingly "I could get used to this."

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Stella walked back into the lab after leaving bookings immensely pleased with herself. She loved evidence, especially when it meant she got the bad guy (even if in this case the bad guy was a bad girl) and now she was going to have her first official date with the man of her dreams.

"What the hell is your problem lady!"

"Mr Vasquez, control yourself." She said, catching sight of the victim's father approaching her furiously.

"Control myself? How can you ask me to control myself when that bastard Johnson killed my little girl and he's out on the streets?" He yelled and began to cry.

"Mr Vasquez, the evidence says-"

"DON'T give me that bull about the evidence!" He said and pulled out a knife.

"Mr Vasquez put the knife down…" She said with a wavering voice.

"Don't tell me what to do!" He said, giving Stella all the incentive she needed to pull her gun.

"Put the knife down!" She said sharply and cocked her gun.

"Sir, drop the knife!" Mac said, coming to her aid, gun aimed at Mr Vasquez.

"She was all I had!" Mr Vasquez dropped his knife and began to sob. Mac snapped handcuffs around his wrists viciously.

"You're under arrest for the assault of a New York City police officer with a deadly weapon."

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Stella was visibly shaken, even after Mr Vasquez had been taken into custody.

Mac kissed the woman he loved from behind, the back of her jaw bone, her cheek, her temple and wrapped his arms around her waist protectively.

She was so strong, the strongest person he had ever known, and yet here she was, encased safely in his arms and still terrified.

"It's going to be okay." He whispered comfortingly.

"I…. I hope so." She breathed shakily.

"You've had hundreds of threats, Stel. That's all they've ever been." He said and kissed her temple again.

"Not like this."

"How not like this? What's different now? Hell, you've been threatened with "

"I have something to lose now. I love you, Mac."

"I love you too, baby. I promise it'll be okay, I won't let anything happen to you." He said certainly and hugged her tighter to him. Danny watched in awe as his boss held his co-worker, kissed the back of her head and promised to protect her.

"Well it's about time." He grinned to himself and walked off the tell Aiden exactly what he had seen.

"Come on." He said softly and took her hand.

"Where are we going?" She asked, her anxiousness gradually being replaced with curiosity.

"Valentine's day dinner." He smiled.

"Mac it's almost been a week." She laughed and he held the door open for her.

"Well then it's Stella and Mac day dinner." He grinned and kissed her softly on the first official Stella and Mac day.


End file.
